Nameless Feelings.4

If you hold me through those autumn leaves
So tight leaving shivers to my spine
Making me crave for you more as our eyes meet
From a distance I feel myself breathing in you_

Fruitless Efforts

Do you think I won’t pay for whatever damage I caused to people’s hearts. How great of a disappointment I have been. That I won’t pay for rejecting love that was offered to me just because nothing comforts me anymore. People’s materialistic preferences make me sick and all I can do is despise them

Every time I made decisions without confronting myself thinking there might be the reason someone who knows me better than me. Someone who’s worth it all. Maybe I dunno but someone can change me. For whom I can put my ego aside but I couldn’t open up my heart. Maybe I’m just destined to stay lost …

I just misunderstood myself… I thought I was too easy…

_____ L o v e _____

People
Aren’t
Worth
It….

Nobody
Loves
You
They
All

          ____ P r e t e n d _____

Unfathomed

 

I tear off the mask

As I enter my room

Hang the laughters on the entrance

I embrace the solitude

Have you ever felt the intense need of to be alone…….

 

 

 

 

I’ll Be a Good Girl….

That Day _____

I told my mom

“I’ll be a good girl”.

I’ll numb all of the pain residing in my Heart 

I’ll dig a grave and bury it to stop

I told my mom

“Don’t worry anymore”

I’ll get rid of my only desire my only wish and dream

I’ll clench it so hard

It won’t even breath

I told my mom…..

…… I’ll do as you please

But……..

I couldn’t tell her

Please try to understand me

I die every day craving for It

And bury myself at night In silent screams

I kill it every day but it throbs in my heart

Torture me in my smiles and hugs me when I’m about to fall apart

Please ask me once…

How much it’s so hard

______ I’ll be a good girl

 

For     how      long

I’m  afraid ___

 

 

 

 

Real Pain

Do you know……

° what’s real pain ?

It’s Silent and  Calm 

It devours your Voice

You lose your ability

To shout it to the World _ 

The Volcano inside me

Mountains

Night

An enchanting moon

Waves dancing in the sea

I’ve all of these in my one Breath

Silent

Avoidance

Whispers

A sad willow tree

On the corner of my

There’s a cliff

So high looking down it’s so deep

Someone’s standing there and that’s me

I escaped

From the world

My bruised feet

My heart covered in scars

My face washed with tears

But now there’s no fear

The Volcano inside me breaths a lot of pain breaking all the chains and there are no more restraints

Now it got a perfect place to erupt……

 

 

 

One Night Love

One Night Love
But he promised to stay together
Forever and ever after
He’s the guy who made your heartbeats skipped fast
Some meetings and exchange of coffee cups
He told you he loves your innocence and grace
Your eyes, your heart and the smile on your face
He came close and whispered to you
” I love you, your body and it’s shape “.
-Before we get married there are some steps
– let’s know each other more, let’s stay together
It’ll be once, let’s do it together
Together break the boundaries, let’s discover our hearts
Just for one night, then we will never be apart
You were hesitant but he has your heart
You wanted to prove him you are sincere, you love him hard
The lust in his eyes___ you thought it’s love
He’s over tonight, to ruin your life
You were told, it would alright
It was your mistake, your love at first sight
You were thirsty of love, it turned you blind
You are lying bruised, sheets scares you out
He’s on call say ” Baby I’m alright “.
He’s leaving behind the door taking away
Your virginity, dignity, grace and right
You are alone with your screams and night full of fright
You were a toy, someone’s love of one night.

When I Die

AND WHEN I DIE

SOMEONE STAND UP

ON MY GRAVE AND SAY

SHE SAID SHE WAS IN PAIN

BUT NO ONE HEARD

Look what have you done

You said _ i’ll be there when you are about to lose
I’m falling apart _ where are you now
I lost everything _ look what have you done
My heart is a circus and beats are the dolls_

-S.killer

 

 

She wasn’t Ok

 

I’m giving it a try
I’m going all out
Again I’m taking in all the screams
I’m gonna house all the pain
What about all the tears left without any box to hide
I’m taking all the burden
Again I’m dying and I see no grave where i can bury all the grieves
If I rest there someone stand up and say
She was saying she’s not ok but nobody heard her _
Someone collect my all pieces and send back to me
I’m bleeding but it’s gonna take a lot to pass out
Someone stand close to me then and say
I’ve been waiting for you for so long

-S.killer