And I……

What If It rains as the night drops the curtains
Instead of walking you to the door of sleep
You read my eyes telling you to stay
Hiding behind the voice of my heart
What If we sit together On our favorite spot
While you look at the sky
I contemplate your details……
Your eyes, your voice,
the beard on your face
Your smile, your laughter
Your lips murmuring my name

On a dark night
sitting under the moonlight
whispering through silence and smiles
leaving our lips hopeless……away
catching a moment to meet
as the thunder breaks
I feel your strong arms around my waist
your heartbeats, I count your eye lashes
and memorize all of your details

The life I don’t wanna live, makes me want to live it….

I can’t tell anything about myself

What I’ve decided… what’s decided for me by someone for my future….

What the people around me expect from me…..what kinda person they wanna see in me……

Unexpected events happen suddenly…. Like an invisible force invading ….. Sometimes it makes me happy sometimes It makes me ache…

Sometime I just feel like how great is the divine power….. am I being helped out …smth very close to happen, right at the door but It suddenly stops…..

My life…..Its leaves me speechless how It goes on

I don’t have the power

………

So I’ve stopped telling …… What’s the plan for the future.

…… I’m curious to see ……

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Sometimes

I

Wonder….

What great disasters I carry that happiness never lasts long

Sometimes I wonder….

Why do people lie while looking into my eyes and expect me to believe them

Sometimes I wonder If they know….

I might

be reckless

but I’m not stupid_

No way to back off

I can’t show you any mercy If I see you down

I’m not gonna pity you If you are weak and about to back off

I’m gonna punch you in your guts, snap the hell out of you and kick your ass to make you move forward

Cry the hell out like a child, shout, feel discouraged and when you are done; get the hell up or I’ll smash your skull in the wall _ tell you to see that damn blood that’s saying you are alive that means you need to keep fighting till your soul takes its flight.

You won’t give up

You won’t give up

Just because you are lazy

You won’t give up

Just because you are tired

You won’t give up

Just because It’s hard

You won’t give up

Just because you are criticised

You won’t give up

Because you didn’t start to give up

I never knew I was losing

It’s another stormy night

I didn’t know how long it has been and I was staring at the ceiling continuously ….

I was trying to think of something,  to put together all my thoughts…

Once again I was trying a useless effort to collect all the chunks of my words that were scattered like usual …

It felt like even bed was tired of me lying for so long,  I wanted to move the curtains aside but felt my body numb

I wanted to turn on the lights but all i could do was reach my hand out and then felt like falling asleep..

Yeah and it was peaceful and relaxing. I could hear the noise of kids playing outside.

My feet were cold and could feel my ears burning. Eyes were slowly closing and again I prayed to have a Dream. Of wild of a Lonely land with full moon and chamomiles.

I never knew I was Losing.