Fake and Real

I have been hiding
Always hiding from myself
I have been scared
Always scared to face my true nature
I have been Ignoring 
Always Ignoring what was meant for me
I have been hurting
Always hurting myself for others
I have been screaming
Always screaming deep inside
I have been waiting
Always waiting for a little peace
I have been breaking
Always breaking Inside
I have been laughing
Always laughing like an idiot

Falling apart – I

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That night I felt like losing myself more than usual

It was an indescribable ache with an unknown reason

Right on the door of my heart

Leaving foot steps behind….

With an undeniable pain

A soul spent a part of night crying

I knew It……

I almost lost myself

A soul wanted to die

In scary silence of night that somehow felt peaceful

I could feel the throbs of heart …….

Like bullets were going through me

A soul with endless repentance could feel

Countless holes in it…

 

Let’s Talk

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Let’s talk about the questions hidden in the core of your heart
You are trying to get rid of in order to seek rest
A little peace that’s available, so you dun lose it too
Let’s talk about thoughts that overflow at night
You doubt it…..?
But let’s talk about the pain rooted deep in your heart
About the voice stuck in your throat
The rhymes change , your eyes enduring for a long time
Let’s talk about the words that provoke your tears
Let go of the storm, let me feel you
Say whatever you want to your heart content
Lose yourself for a while, cry and listen to yourself
It’s Ok to collapse , I will hold you..

Just a Poem

When you are reminded of something
You were trying to get over
This heart throbs to the extent
That it might explode
You are deprived of love 
When you need it the most
Fathomless feelings and pain with no cure
You look for someone who is like you
Who face same suffering and pain as you do
Some words to exchange
Some moments to adore

 

o

I destroyed myself and I’ll do it again

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I ran away from my desires

Little wishes

And carvings,  I was once crazy for

I destroyed myself and I’ll do it again

For I’m not afraid

I’ll break myself and I’ll do it again

For I’m fearless

I’ll ache and embrace the pain

Its waves rising so high to the extent

I might die

I experience loss every moment

I read my heart and die,  I’ll do it again

For I’m made for this

I fight myself and bleed,  I’ll do it again

For I’ve to feel

I’ll lose myself and I’ll do it again..

Let me go Or hold me so Closely

It was tortuous as seeing a broken heart coughing blood after another blade.
If I open my Eyes, tears may fall.
If I say any words, you may see my scars.
Walking through the forest in freezing nights.
Afraid of dark and Tired of light.
Tears roll down the cheeks leaving warmth behind making a cold touch to ear losing their way to neck.

Let me go
Or hold me so Closely
I’m bursting into tears
Of Feeling so lonely
Like the Rise of Wind
Everything pushing me away
Is it all my fault
I’m going astray
Throw me into Abyss of Nights so high
Make me fall and pray , receiving arrows of pain
Throbbing my chest, burning my mind
My heart cries and soul’s dying
I hear the Voices it’s hurting so hard
My thoughts are screaming, it’s killing me Oh God
Pain Grabs me on knees , kissing my eyes
Old wounds are bleeding, Ah those sorrows and lies

I’m not a Poetess, A Writer who Lies

Those captivating feeling and enthralling moments. How to cage them ? I always asked myself. How to look into screams hidden in tears ! To Capture the thoughts and unmitigated love. Honey bleeds from scars pushing me to yell.

I’m not a Poetess, a Writer who Lies

Seeing the Nectar dripping from Moon

I Pour It in my words when feelings Rise

Laying at night on my Orchid of thoughts 

The waves of sea scenting my senses 

Like a seductive morphia, O ! my heart 

Playing a faint smile on the Lips of valedictory chamomile. The sycophantic sound of wind enriching my every pour touching the paper, It wakes me up. Seducing my mind, grasping me in it’s claws.

Setting my Silence free like an autumn tree

It drops my words on a blank sheet

With a genteel touch it revives the pain

Kissing my fingertips , the pen rolls between the lines

Riveting nature and staggering memories

Resplendent talks and stabbing eyes

They move my Pen with notorious Lies.

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