What If It rains as the night drops the curtains Instead of walking you to the door of sleep You read my eyes telling you to stay Hiding behind the voice of my heart What If we sit together On our favorite spot While you look at the sky I contemplate your details…… Your eyes, your voice, the beard on your face Your smile, your laughter Your lips murmuring my name
On a dark night sitting under the moonlight whispering through silence and smiles leaving our lips hopeless……away catching a moment to meet as the thunder breaks I feel your strong arms around my waist your heartbeats, I count your eye lashes and memorize all of your details
What I’ve decided… what’s decided for me by someone for my future….
What the people around me expect from me…..what kinda person they wanna see in me……
Unexpected events happen suddenly…. Like an invisible force invading ….. Sometimes it makes me happy sometimes It makes me ache…
Sometime I just feel like how great is the divine power….. am I being helped out …smth very close to happen, right at the door but It suddenly stops…..
My life…..Its leaves me speechless how It goes on
I don’t have the power
………
So I’ve stopped telling …… What’s the plan for the future.
Pious, pure and angelic titles Behind them hides a sinful damsel Holding back words that make you sin On your feet I would like to spin
Hopelessly romantic wild Behind that mask a devil hides Your touch sculpting me into a sensual muse Verses played by you giving me cues
Fragmented seducing kisses as they seam I let my feelings slip through my sleeves I hid for long and they were ceased A gentle stroke inviting lust and love Complaints, wishes, dreams and a little sigh A tainted smile on lips and shine in eyes A sudden hug and I fell from skies Scattered Shattered My pieces thrive Stripped my Soul Those ugly scars; yikes Stitches on heart Tears in my eyes The grievous dance in your arms With painful laughters, echoes and cries So many screams, an existence full of ache Soulfully soulless Hopefully hopeless reasonably unreasonable …..
And ……..
Beyond the boundaries My words start losing purity_
You said you will have 4 kids __ two daughters and two sons.
You wanted me to stay single and teach your children but laughing while saying ” no I don’t want a perverty tutor for my kids, you will spoil them”.
You shared your dreams with me.
You had tell everyone ” Hey Listen ! I changed this grumpy rascal into a chatterbox , It was me who took away her frown but she can kick your ass If you hurt me”.
You were a plethora of laughter who had argue with me every time I said ” What If I die before you ” ____ and you would say ” What If I do “……
And You Won……
I pray ___ May your soul be at peace
May your grave be filled with warm and peaceful light
____ It is …. unbelievable like someone told me a joke… Feels like you are still there asking me to pick the white rose stealthily from the garden in front of principal office
Still feels like you waving your hand and yelling ” Moon you idiot, you are late , we were waiting for you “….
I still see those times ___ how you used to put your shoe on a chair to save my seat and complain cz I was always late than the rest…
How can I forget those times , we had sneak into last seat on last period just to have fun while eating mandarins and throwing messages written on papers and pass till professor would say ” I can see you well from this spot “……
Times you fought and argue with seniors for me saying ” She got a bad temper but she has a nice heart ”
You will stay in my memories forever ….. 25April2020
Can I tell you I’m badly hurt Heart aches so much that It might explode Can I tell you I have had it enough Now I just want to give it a rest But I keep on being like this more and more
After facing the world can I stop being so strong before you and cry my heart out…
I Just want to sleep for a while
I dunno when I slept last time with my heart at peace
I’m paying
Paying for the sins I committed
What good is this innocence for
I’ve slandered so many people emotionally
I’m paying for all the lies I told
To disconnect from everyone when I was already away from them
What good is this heart of mine for….
When I couldn’t use it for any good
Now it’s living in a hell I created myself
What good is this smile for …..
I’m unable to smile for real in the end
Now a frown has taken over it
What good are my words for
When they only hurt others
I could never be a healer but a torture
I’m living in a hell I created myself
Do you think I would want to live a future cursed by everyone …..
That Day _____
when i write 