Withering away

I miss you and I miss you so badly
I want to hug you…
Hug you so tight that It suffocates you
Takes away your breath so you know how hard It Is….
To keep the distance, to be away as If the life is taken away

There’re things hard to believe…..

I could hold you In my arms
Give you a peck or kiss your forehead
Holding your hands and feel your warmth
Sitting under the moonlight and gazing at the stars
Hide myself between the lines then read It to you
I thought It was all a dream until you turned it into a real charm
Now that you are here, I won’t mind falling in love rather than feeling the love but I’m fixated on a phase
All I can offer Is care and respect
There are things hard to believe

As If It’s Just a Dream _

I Just…..

You look okay but you aren’t…..

Is everything okay?
(-yeah)
really??? smth happened?
(-nope, nothing happened)
are you sad?
(-ah no, tell me what did u do today?)
noth particular _ answer what I’m asking.
(-I already said there’s nothing.)
   but your voice says smth else,
(-stop…)
it gives feelings of loneliness…..your words are empty yet I can feel your heart’s so full…..
(-stop please…..!!!)
I don’t know____I don’t know how to describe this feeling but all I see Is a child struck by silence who wants to vent out but got no way no excuse…..
hey!!! you feel your chest heavy….am I ryt? you feel suffocated….!! you don’t know what it is actually and it’s like so messy….!??
(-uhun I don’t know, there’s nothing such as…..I’m okay)
Look at me…….gimme your hand…will you do me a favor???
(-what is it?)
come close____Cry…….
(- i hate it when you talk like this…i hate that tone……i hate it when my crazy alien turns into a deep serious soul….you make me lose….)
your eyes don’t tear but I felt your heart’s crying.
I’m here for you ___will be till my last breath
as If I was born to comfort you, to make you laugh, to support you….your tears as warm as your embrace-

And I……

What If It rains as the night drops the curtains
Instead of walking you to the door of sleep
You read my eyes telling you to stay
Hiding behind the voice of my heart
What If we sit together On our favorite spot
While you look at the sky
I contemplate your details……
Your eyes, your voice,
the beard on your face
Your smile, your laughter
Your lips murmuring my name

On a dark night
sitting under the moonlight
whispering through silence and smiles
leaving our lips hopeless……away
catching a moment to meet
as the thunder breaks
I feel your strong arms around my waist
your heartbeats, I count your eye lashes
and memorize all of your details

The life I don’t wanna live, makes me want to live it….

I can’t tell anything about myself

What I’ve decided… what’s decided for me by someone for my future….

What the people around me expect from me…..what kinda person they wanna see in me……

Unexpected events happen suddenly…. Like an invisible force invading ….. Sometimes it makes me happy sometimes It makes me ache…

Sometime I just feel like how great is the divine power….. am I being helped out …smth very close to happen, right at the door but It suddenly stops…..

My life…..Its leaves me speechless how It goes on

I don’t have the power

………

So I’ve stopped telling …… What’s the plan for the future.

…… I’m curious to see ……

Untitled.11

Sometimes

I

Wonder….

What great disasters I carry that happiness never lasts long

Sometimes I wonder….

Why do people lie while looking into my eyes and expect me to believe them

Sometimes I wonder If they know….

I might

be reckless

but I’m not stupid_