And I……

What If It rains as the night drops the curtains
Instead of walking you to the door of sleep
You read my eyes telling you to stay
Hiding behind the voice of my heart
What If we sit together On our favorite spot
While you look at the sky
I contemplate your details……
Your eyes, your voice,
the beard on your face
Your smile, your laughter
Your lips murmuring my name

On a dark night
sitting under the moonlight
whispering through silence and smiles
leaving our lips hopeless……away
catching a moment to meet
as the thunder breaks
I feel your strong arms around my waist
your heartbeats, I count your eye lashes
and memorize all of your details

Nameless Feelings. 5

I’m not good at choosing words
Some are like bombs throwing at people
Some are so self destructive and I dunno how to protect myself from myself until it destroys a great part of me

You have at least someone to hold your hand when you fall __ I don’t..

I just have criticism waiting for me…

Lucky are those who get appreciated. I don’t even know how does it feels.

Nameless Feelings.4

If you hold me through those autumn leaves
So tight leaving shivers to my spine
Making me crave for you more as our eyes meet
From a distance I feel myself breathing in you_

Sayonara (R.I.P)

You said you will have 4 kids __ two daughters and two sons.

You wanted me to stay single and teach your children but laughing while saying ” no I don’t want a perverty tutor for my kids, you will spoil them”.

You shared your dreams with me.

You had tell everyone ” Hey Listen ! I changed this grumpy rascal into a chatterbox , It was me who took away her frown but she can kick your ass If you hurt me”.

You were a plethora of laughter who had argue with me every time I said ” What If I die before you ” ____ and you would say ” What If I do “……

And You Won……

I pray ___ May your soul be at peace

May your grave be filled with warm and peaceful light

____ It is …. unbelievable like someone told me a joke… Feels like you are still there asking me to pick the white rose stealthily from the garden in front of principal office

Still feels like you waving your hand and yelling ” Moon you idiot, you are late , we were waiting for you “….

I still see those times ___ how you used to put your shoe on a chair to save my seat and complain cz I was always late than the rest…

How can I forget those times , we had sneak into last seat on last period just to have fun while eating mandarins and throwing messages written on papers and pass till professor would say ” I can see you well from this spot “……

Times you fought and argue with seniors for me saying ” She got a bad temper but she has a nice heart ”

You will stay in my memories forever ….. 25April2020

I lust your love

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I’m sorry
For loving you like
It’s gonna be the last time
I’m sorry
For
Loving you so violently
I’m sorry
That I’ve gone so
damn crazy for you
It’s like I won’t have enough of you
I’m sorry for being greedy
But I lust your love

I wish for you with searing desires

Awoken feelings

I crave for you

I want you like eternity
I want all of you…

Don’t love me

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Yes I am crazy one who talk about love
When have never been in love
But would you believe me If I say I’ve experienced it through people’s eyes …. how badly they need it yet I don’t want you to love me for I won’t be able to love you back as I don’t know how does it feels.
I am Maniac who gets Hyper
A selfish being who gets tired of Caring
A little savage yes I feel so much but end up hurting everyone cause I still have no Idea how to get a hold on my possessiveness
Yeah! I know i am damn aggressive and violent and I don’t mind if i have to Run away or to kill
To make my heart feel at peace.
Yeah! I know nothing about people and its like nuisance to me
I accept I am not normal
And I dun mind getting the hell outa here
But……
Why I’m so helpless
I’m chained….

A smile full of life…

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laughter, smile and 

Glistening eyes

The most beautiful combination and behind It is hiding a heavy amount of pain 

You know it’s so rich,  so full of life

When you know how does it feel to be sad

To be empty while trying to be happy

Tortured by pain alone with nobody there to comfort

But when they get to see the smile for real on your face;  It lit up an unextinguished fire in the hearts ___

Unfathomed

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I tear off the mask

As I enter my room

Hang the laughters on the entrance

I embrace the solitude

Have you ever felt the intense need of to be alone…….