Wanderer

Gone astray as I
Leave behind no
Marks and walk
Like an armour
Made of moonlight
A sword unsheath

In midnight as my
Feet bleed of struggle
I rise in rainstorm
A dance on lightening
With a roar of thunder
I cry out my heart
So full of ache as the
Nature hides me under
It’s wings so wide and
A soul on fire burning
The pain I admire

The scars so velvety
Drunk and dance
I dance In pain In darkness
Away astray stay stray
A wild soul caged
I want to bleed through
Words and cry my pen
Intimates the silvery lines

The life I don’t wanna live, makes me want to live it….

I can’t tell anything about myself

What I’ve decided… what’s decided for me by someone for my future….

What the people around me expect from me…..what kinda person they wanna see in me……

Unexpected events happen suddenly…. Like an invisible force invading ….. Sometimes it makes me happy sometimes It makes me ache…

Sometime I just feel like how great is the divine power….. am I being helped out …smth very close to happen, right at the door but It suddenly stops…..

My life…..Its leaves me speechless how It goes on

I don’t have the power

………

So I’ve stopped telling …… What’s the plan for the future.

…… I’m curious to see ……

A little beyond the boundaries

Pious, pure and angelic titles
Behind them hides a sinful damsel
Holding back words that make you sin
On your feet I would like to spin

Hopelessly romantic wild
Behind that mask a devil hides
Your touch sculpting me into a sensual muse
Verses played by you giving me cues

Fragmented seducing kisses as they seam
I let my feelings slip through my sleeves
I hid for long and they were ceased
A gentle stroke inviting lust and love
Complaints, wishes, dreams and a little sigh
A tainted smile on lips and shine in eyes
A sudden hug and I fell from skies
Scattered
Shattered
My pieces thrive
Stripped my Soul
Those ugly scars; yikes
Stitches on heart
Tears in my eyes
The grievous dance in your arms
With painful laughters, echoes and cries
So many screams, an existence full of ache
Soulfully soulless
Hopefully hopeless
reasonably unreasonable
…..

And ……..


Beyond the boundaries
My words start losing purity_

Nameless Feelings. 5

I’m not good at choosing words
Some are like bombs throwing at people
Some are so self destructive and I dunno how to protect myself from myself until it destroys a great part of me

You have at least someone to hold your hand when you fall __ I don’t..

I just have criticism waiting for me…

Lucky are those who get appreciated. I don’t even know how does it feels.

Sayonara (R.I.P)

You said you will have 4 kids __ two daughters and two sons.

You wanted me to stay single and teach your children but laughing while saying ” no I don’t want a perverty tutor for my kids, you will spoil them”.

You shared your dreams with me.

You had tell everyone ” Hey Listen ! I changed this grumpy rascal into a chatterbox , It was me who took away her frown but she can kick your ass If you hurt me”.

You were a plethora of laughter who had argue with me every time I said ” What If I die before you ” ____ and you would say ” What If I do “……

And You Won……

I pray ___ May your soul be at peace

May your grave be filled with warm and peaceful light

____ It is …. unbelievable like someone told me a joke… Feels like you are still there asking me to pick the white rose stealthily from the garden in front of principal office

Still feels like you waving your hand and yelling ” Moon you idiot, you are late , we were waiting for you “….

I still see those times ___ how you used to put your shoe on a chair to save my seat and complain cz I was always late than the rest…

How can I forget those times , we had sneak into last seat on last period just to have fun while eating mandarins and throwing messages written on papers and pass till professor would say ” I can see you well from this spot “……

Times you fought and argue with seniors for me saying ” She got a bad temper but she has a nice heart ”

You will stay in my memories forever ….. 25April2020

I’ll Be a Good Girl….

large (27)That Day _____

I told my mom

“I’ll be a good girl”.

I’ll numb all of the pain residing in my Heart 

I’ll dig a grave and bury it to stop

I told my mom

“Don’t worry anymore”

I’ll get rid of my only desire my only wish and dream

I’ll clench it so hard

It won’t even breath

I told my mom…..

…… I’ll do as you please

But……..

I couldn’t tell her

Please try to understand me

I die every day craving for It

And bury myself at night In silent screams

I kill it every day but it throbs in my heart

Torture me in my smiles and hugs me when I’m about to fall apart

Please ask me once…

How much it’s so hard

______ I’ll be a good girl

 

For     how      long

I’m  afraid ___

 

 

 

 

Real Pain

Do you know……

° what’s real pain ?

It’s Silent and  Calm 

It devours your Voice

You lose your ability

To shout it to the World _ 

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The Volcano inside me

Mountains

Night

An enchanting moon

Waves dancing in the sea

I’ve all of these in my one Breath

Silent

Avoidance

Whispers

A sad willow tree

On the corner of my

There’s a cliff

So high looking down it’s so deep

Someone’s standing there and that’s me

I escaped

From the world

My bruised feet

My heart covered in scars

My face washed with tears

But now there’s no fear

The Volcano inside me breaths a lot of pain breaking all the chains and there are no more restraints

Now it got a perfect place to erupt……

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One Night Love

One Night Love
But he promised to stay together
Forever and ever after
He’s the guy who made your heartbeats skipped fast
Some meetings and exchange of coffee cups
He told you he loves your innocence and grace
Your eyes, your heart and the smile on your face
He came close and whispered to you
” I love you, your body and it’s shape “.
-Before we get married there are some steps
– let’s know each other more, let’s stay together
It’ll be once, let’s do it together
Together break the boundaries, let’s discover our hearts
Just for one night, then we will never be apart
You were hesitant but he has your heart
You wanted to prove him you are sincere, you love him hard
The lust in his eyes___ you thought it’s love
He’s over tonight, to ruin your life
You were told, it would alright
It was your mistake, your love at first sight
You were thirsty of love, it turned you blind
You are lying bruised, sheets scares you out
He’s on call say ” Baby I’m alright “.
He’s leaving behind the door taking away
Your virginity, dignity, grace and right
You are alone with your screams and night full of fright
You were a toy, someone’s love of one night.

When I Die

InShot_20191110_014219584.jpg

AND WHEN I DIE

SOMEONE STAND UP

ON MY GRAVE AND SAY

SHE SAID SHE WAS IN PAIN

BUT NO ONE HEARD