I Just…..

You look okay but you aren’t…..

Is everything okay?
(-yeah)
really??? smth happened?
(-nope, nothing happened)
are you sad?
(-ah no, tell me what did u do today?)
noth particular _ answer what I’m asking.
(-I already said there’s nothing.)
   but your voice says smth else,
(-stop…)
it gives feelings of loneliness…..your words are empty yet I can feel your heart’s so full…..
(-stop please…..!!!)
I don’t know____I don’t know how to describe this feeling but all I see Is a child struck by silence who wants to vent out but got no way no excuse…..
hey!!! you feel your chest heavy….am I ryt? you feel suffocated….!! you don’t know what it is actually and it’s like so messy….!??
(-uhun I don’t know, there’s nothing such as…..I’m okay)
Look at me…….gimme your hand…will you do me a favor???
(-what is it?)
come close____Cry…….
(- i hate it when you talk like this…i hate that tone……i hate it when my crazy alien turns into a deep serious soul….you make me lose….)
your eyes don’t tear but I felt your heart’s crying.
I’m here for you ___will be till my last breath
as If I was born to comfort you, to make you laugh, to support you….your tears as warm as your embrace-

And I……

What If It rains as the night drops the curtains
Instead of walking you to the door of sleep
You read my eyes telling you to stay
Hiding behind the voice of my heart
What If we sit together On our favorite spot
While you look at the sky
I contemplate your details……
Your eyes, your voice,
the beard on your face
Your smile, your laughter
Your lips murmuring my name

On a dark night
sitting under the moonlight
whispering through silence and smiles
leaving our lips hopeless……away
catching a moment to meet
as the thunder breaks
I feel your strong arms around my waist
your heartbeats, I count your eye lashes
and memorize all of your details

The life I don’t wanna live, makes me want to live it….

I can’t tell anything about myself

What I’ve decided… what’s decided for me by someone for my future….

What the people around me expect from me…..what kinda person they wanna see in me……

Unexpected events happen suddenly…. Like an invisible force invading ….. Sometimes it makes me happy sometimes It makes me ache…

Sometime I just feel like how great is the divine power….. am I being helped out …smth very close to happen, right at the door but It suddenly stops…..

My life…..Its leaves me speechless how It goes on

I don’t have the power

………

So I’ve stopped telling …… What’s the plan for the future.

…… I’m curious to see ……

Can I stop being so strong before you…..

Can I tell you I’m badly hurt
Heart aches so much that
It might explode
Can I tell you I have had it enough
Now I just want to give it a rest
But I keep on being like this more and more

After facing the world can I stop being so strong before you and cry my heart out…

I Just want to sleep for a while

I dunno when I slept last time with my heart at peace

Lost and nowhere to be found

My dreams shattered along with tears that kept falling
All the sensations lost their meaning
I no longer know what my intentions mean
A hopeless hope lingering in my soul
The fire is extinguishing I spent every ache to fuel it
I’m lost and I’ve no idea where I was wandering
I’m unthankful forgetful having no clue of how to get better
I’ve thrown myself into darkness while seeking peace
Now I see no way out , my existence has gotten used to it

Till the end I wannabe with you

 

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I’m not going to ask you to show me your dark side
I want to explore it
Know you truly ,deeply
Embrace the real side of you
Even If you fake it
Even If you say I won’t make it
I want you to know
The wall you have built so high
I’m going to break it
All the miseries and pain you were facing alone
I wish to be able to take a part of it
Stay with you
Fight with you
Till the end
I wanna be with you

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Just you and me

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I’ll write countless volumes on our love
From your whiskey touch to my soul
To how I badly lust your love
Indescribable burning kisses under the starry sky
Your voice
Your scent
The time we spent
A mysterious night
From this world
Just you, just me
We take a little flight
An enchanting dance
wind chimes, those eyes
And shivers to my spine
Some promises sworn
Some pages were torn
Deep inside
Some hopes were born
No people, no fright
Away from worries
A beautiful sight
We rise, we fall
With the intense
need of your love,

A constant need of you

you make me crave
Every moment, all the time
I wish you to be mine

 

Don’t love me

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Yes I am crazy one who talk about love
When have never been in love
But would you believe me If I say I’ve experienced it through people’s eyes …. how badly they need it yet I don’t want you to love me for I won’t be able to love you back as I don’t know how does it feels.
I am Maniac who gets Hyper
A selfish being who gets tired of Caring
A little savage yes I feel so much but end up hurting everyone cause I still have no Idea how to get a hold on my possessiveness
Yeah! I know i am damn aggressive and violent and I don’t mind if i have to Run away or to kill
To make my heart feel at peace.
Yeah! I know nothing about people and its like nuisance to me
I accept I am not normal
And I dun mind getting the hell outa here
But……
Why I’m so helpless
I’m chained….