I’ll Be a Good Girl….

large (27)That Day _____

I told my mom

“I’ll be a good girl”.

I’ll numb all of the pain residing in my Heart 

I’ll dig a grave and bury it to stop

I told my mom

“Don’t worry anymore”

I’ll get rid of my only desire my only wish and dream

I’ll clench it so hard

It won’t even breath

I told my mom…..

…… I’ll do as you please

But……..

I couldn’t tell her

Please try to understand me

I die every day craving for It

And bury myself at night In silent screams

I kill it every day but it throbs in my heart

Torture me in my smiles and hugs me when I’m about to fall apart

Please ask me once…

How much it’s so hard

______ I’ll be a good girl

 

For     how      long

I’m  afraid ___

 

 

 

 

Real Pain

Do you know……

° what’s real pain ?

It’s Silent and  Calm 

It devours your Voice

You lose your ability

To shout it to the World _ 

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The Volcano inside me

Mountains

Night

An enchanting moon

Waves dancing in the sea

I’ve all of these in my one Breath

Silent

Avoidance

Whispers

A sad willow tree

On the corner of my

There’s a cliff

So high looking down it’s so deep

Someone’s standing there and that’s me

I escaped

From the world

My bruised feet

My heart covered in scars

My face washed with tears

But now there’s no fear

The Volcano inside me breaths a lot of pain breaking all the chains and there are no more restraints

Now it got a perfect place to erupt……

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One Night Love

One Night Love
But he promised to stay together
Forever and ever after
He’s the guy who made your heartbeats skipped fast
Some meetings and exchange of coffee cups
He told you he loves your innocence and grace
Your eyes, your heart and the smile on your face
He came close and whispered to you
” I love you, your body and it’s shape “.
-Before we get married there are some steps
– let’s know each other more, let’s stay together
It’ll be once, let’s do it together
Together break the boundaries, let’s discover our hearts
Just for one night, then we will never be apart
You were hesitant but he has your heart
You wanted to prove him you are sincere, you love him hard
The lust in his eyes___ you thought it’s love
He’s over tonight, to ruin your life
You were told, it would alright
It was your mistake, your love at first sight
You were thirsty of love, it turned you blind
You are lying bruised, sheets scares you out
He’s on call say ” Baby I’m alright “.
He’s leaving behind the door taking away
Your virginity, dignity, grace and right
You are alone with your screams and night full of fright
You were a toy, someone’s love of one night.

When I Die

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AND WHEN I DIE

SOMEONE STAND UP

ON MY GRAVE AND SAY

SHE SAID SHE WAS IN PAIN

BUT NO ONE HEARD

Love _ it’s a terrible feeling

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Do you know how does it feels to fall in love ?

Do you know how bad is this feeling ?

Ever tried to experience it ??? that it will take away your rational.

It will make you feel helpless and like you are on fire

It makes you suffer and suffer and tie your hands

It’s terrible, troublesome….. right?

You are quickly swayed by it .. deeeep so ocean like

It opens your chest and present your heart to the one who can mess with it

And destroy you from the core.

 

I destroyed myself and I’ll do it again

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I ran away from my desires

Little wishes

And carvings,  I was once crazy for

I destroyed myself and I’ll do it again

For I’m not afraid

I’ll break myself and I’ll do it again

For I’m fearless

I’ll ache and embrace the pain

Its waves rising so high to the extent

I might die

I experience loss every moment

I read my heart and die,  I’ll do it again

For I’m made for this

I fight myself and bleed,  I’ll do it again

For I’ve to feel

I’ll lose myself and I’ll do it again..

Silence is there for my Screams

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Some days felt like years

Some felt like a moment some seconds ago

Everything was clear but I decided to be blind

Of all the facts and running from reality

Running from my mistakes and all those Sins

They felt sweet but the burden was adhered

To me, my heart, my soul and mind

Fueled all the lust and ideas so Sugary

I retreated and left countless times

Supporting the good but what about the other part

It resides inside, a devilish part

I looked for something pure , an eternal cure

I could feel the intensity , that pushed me away

So forceful and aching , It was severe

I moved my feet away and away

With tears in my eyes, with feelings so grave

To the dark and darkest, with nobody to share

Life acted like a joke , so does it seems

But silence was there for my screams.

Being a Nuisance

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You need to stay honest

They Keep reminding me this

I’m empathetic

But they want me to put a sad

Story on my face

To make my words shiver

Without knowing their glitter

You are nuisance. …. … ..

You won’t understand

They Keep reminding me of that

Go away……

The person isn’t your prey

Being treated as if I will screech their wounds

My mind from space and heart is so wild

I wish them to face,  facts may hurt

My words gonna eat for a while

But I know the one will carve on my Grave

She never preyed..