And I won’t keep It a secret…..

And I won’t keep It a secret…..when I was learning a lot of things, love was removed from the list.
when I was experiencing different feelings, I skipped this feeling.
There was a things called need and all those were fulfilled yet love was never on the list.
I considered hugs fictitious and even had my closest ones deprived of It.
My base was enriched with devotion and how much I owe for one’s goodness….but I wasn’t told adoration.
Now after years I see a complain on the door_ “you don’t love us”…..you dun even care anymore….

“you gave me everything but not what I needed the most, it’s sad, it hurts, it burns but i can’t name it…………. You didn’t taught me how to love…… What is this feeling……… I never know how to love, how tender it is……. I have always been leaving, it has always been easy and I dunno If I really belong to this realm anymore”……

Don’t be mad at me.. I know that sometimes I may look closer to you than your soul, and the next night I’m tough as a rock, cold and far as a star, and I’m fully aware of any harm that a contradiction like this may cause..But I don’t intentionally be confident of this harm, it’s just that my soul is in a permanent tide…..I dun have a shore nor a beach that contains me . I’m owner of a heart that is full of so much yet the core is empty.

Wanderer

Gone astray as I
Leave behind no
Marks and walk
Like an armour
Made of moonlight
A sword unsheath

In midnight as my
Feet bleed of struggle
I rise in rainstorm
A dance on lightening
With a roar of thunder
I cry out my heart
So full of ache as the
Nature hides me under
It’s wings so wide and
A soul on fire burning
The pain I admire

The scars so velvety
Drunk and dance
I dance In pain In darkness
Away astray stay stray
A wild soul caged
I want to bleed through
Words and cry my pen
Intimates the silvery lines

The life I don’t wanna live, makes me want to live it….

I can’t tell anything about myself

What I’ve decided… what’s decided for me by someone for my future….

What the people around me expect from me…..what kinda person they wanna see in me……

Unexpected events happen suddenly…. Like an invisible force invading ….. Sometimes it makes me happy sometimes It makes me ache…

Sometime I just feel like how great is the divine power….. am I being helped out …smth very close to happen, right at the door but It suddenly stops…..

My life…..Its leaves me speechless how It goes on

I don’t have the power

………

So I’ve stopped telling …… What’s the plan for the future.

…… I’m curious to see ……

Just Read Me

Those worries started to look so minor
As If I was a child Whining over toys
The ache felt so meager that I considered
So painful ……
I always wondered what does it means to step
Into a practical life…… how does it feels????
Until….

Until life lifted me up the threw my down
It cracked me into pieces and ensemble again
Polishing me like an arrow and blasting me
With painful laughters, echoes and cries
Yet I knew It was the first step….
It was the beginning….
It was nothing but I could say proudly
I’ve grown up a little finally.