And I won’t keep It a secret…..when I was learning a lot of things, love was removed from the list. when I was experiencing different feelings, I skipped this feeling. There was a things called need and all those were fulfilled yet love was never on the list. I considered hugs fictitious and even had my closest ones deprived of It. My base was enriched with devotion and how much I owe for one’s goodness….but I wasn’t told adoration. Now after years I see a complain on the door_ “you don’t love us”…..you dun even care anymore….
“you gave me everything but not what I needed the most, it’s sad, it hurts, it burns but i can’t name it…………. You didn’t taught me how to love…… What is this feeling……… I never know how to love, how tender it is……. I have always been leaving, it has always been easy and I dunno If I really belong to this realm anymore”……
Don’t be mad at me.. I know that sometimes I may look closer to you than your soul, and the next night I’m tough as a rock, cold and far as a star, and I’m fully aware of any harm that a contradiction like this may cause..But I don’t intentionally be confident of this harm, it’s just that my soul is in a permanent tide…..I dun have a shore nor a beach that contains me . I’m owner of a heart that is full of so much yet the core is empty.
Gone astray as I Leave behind no Marks and walk Like an armour Made of moonlight A sword unsheath
In midnight as my Feet bleed of struggle I rise in rainstorm A dance on lightening With a roar of thunder I cry out my heart So full of ache as the Nature hides me under It’s wings so wide and A soul on fire burning The pain I admire
The scars so velvety Drunk and dance I dance In pain In darkness Away astray stay stray A wild soul caged I want to bleed through Words and cry my pen Intimates the silvery lines
Those worries started to look so minor As If I was a child Whining over toys The ache felt so meager that I considered So painful …… I always wondered what does it means to step Into a practical life…… how does it feels???? Until….
Until life lifted me up the threw my down It cracked me into pieces and ensemble again Polishing me like an arrow and blasting me With painful laughters, echoes and cries Yet I knew It was the first step…. It was the beginning…. It was nothing but I could say proudly I’ve grown up a little finally.